Lessons From the Road Pt. 2: Less Looking, More Living in My Body

I’ve been doing some thinking recently, and something big hit me. I realized that, some of my biggest, deepest physical insecurities - features that I used to nitpick, scrutinize, compare, are - how do I put this - haven’t completely gone away, but feel so much lighter. Parts of my body that I used to be so insecure about no longer hold the same weight they once did. They’ve softened. They’re barely there. They don’t hold the same power over me as they used to.

And I realized that living in a van has deeply changed my relationship with my body.

I think most women (and men) can relate to this: growing up in a society that subtly (and not so subtly) tells you that you are more worthy if your body looks a certain way. Look better. Lose weight. Tone this. Fix that. Compare yourself to her. Even when nobody is directly telling you these things, it’s hard not to absorb them from social media, advertising, society’s subconscious influence of unrealistic beauty standards, and this deeply rooted comparison culture where people, routines, and environments made it easy to constantly measure yourself against others. For so much of my life, my body felt like something to critique, something to improve, to compare.

Here’s how living in a van has begun to change that narrative for me and developed a healthier relationship with my body image.

Less Looking

One of the biggest changes has been that I simply don’t have access to mirrors. Aside from my rearview mirror and the occasional petrol station bathroom, I’m not constantly being flooded with reflections of myself. But it not just the absence of a reflection. It’s that my attention has shifted outward instead of inward. I’m focused on where I’m sleeping that night, what waterfall I’m hiking to, whether my van can make it up a certain road, what new place I’m going to explore.

My body became something that carried me through experiences. Living in a van has repositioned my focus from: What does my body look like? to: What can my body do? Where can it take me? What can it figure out? What can it endure?

Slowly, a deep appreciation for my body has developed - not because of how it looks, but because of everything it allows me to do and experience.

Feeling Beautiful Without Trying to Be Beautiful

I don’t wear makeup anymore. There’s no need for it. I wear the same shirts and shorts on repeat. I don’t think about fashion. I don’t think about curating an image. I don’t really try to look good. anymore, I honestly just don’t really care. Those things simply aren’t priorities when you’re living in a van. And guess what? I feel really beautiful as I am.

Hiking through the rainforest, laying on the beach, sitting beside a lake, watching the sunset- I feel completely comfortable in my own skin.

Maybe it’s our environments that make us feel like we need to constantly alter, improve, fix ourselves. Try to fit into a certain mold. But out here, in nature, all of that disappears. I simply exist. And I feel beautiful without an ounce of external validation. I feel beautiful because I feel connected to myself and to the world around me, not because of how I appear to anyone else.

Confidence That Comes From Within

Another thing I’ve noticed is how much solo travel has intrinsically boosted my confidence. Navigating mechanical issues, loneliness, long drives, unfamiliar places, and situations I’ve never faced before has taught me (or forced me) to trust myself. Every time I solve a problem, my identity shifts a little, reinforcing the “I’m capable” and “I can do hard things” and “I can figure things out.” And I think that kind of confidence naturally spills over into body image. When your self-worth is no longer built primarily around how you look, something deeper starts to take its place: self-trust. And that trust creates a kind of confidence that external appearance never could. It’s a deeper, more grounded confidence, one that comes from knowing yourself and knowing you can handle whatever comes your way.

Being in Nature

Nature has a way of making you feel like you’re just another living thing. Your attention is constantly being pulled outward, toward the trees, the ocean, the mountains, the animals, the sounds, the changing weather- instead of being trapped inside your own head. There is something incredibly freeing about that. The mountains don’t care if your hair is messy, the ocean doesn’t care about the scars on your skin, and the rainforest doesn’t care about your belly rolls. You’re just simply there, existing. And interestingly that allows you to do the same.

Listening to My Body

Without constantly fixating on what I look like, I’ve become much more attuned to how I actually feel in my body. I notice my nervous system, what my intuition is telling me, when my body needs rest, and when it’s telling me that I have more energy in the tank to keep going. I think I’ve developed a deeper awareness of my body, not as something to judge, but as something to listen to.

This doesn’t mean that all my insecurities have completely disappeared, they most definitely haven’t. And I also recognize the privilege of consistently being surrounded by nature, away from many of the environments that reinforce those insecurities.

But, that being said, those insecurities have lost a lot of their power. My body is no longer something I feel like I need to constantly fix or improve. I’ve stopped looking at it with so much negativity, and started appreciating it as the vessel keeping me alive, breathing, standing. The vessel carrying me across a continent. The thing that climbs mountains, swims in oceans, drives thousands of kilometres, solves problems, and allows me to experience this beautiful beautiful life.